Thoughts on Brandon (Memorial service)

I started this entry in May 08, I believe. Getting the rest of the things that I shared at his service written down has been a challenge for me. Finalizing all this is almost like I am finally closing and sealing shut my own personal book of rememberance for Brandon- something which I have not really wanted to do. Looking back on it, I wish I would have gone to Idaho to really say goodbye. For me, this is my goodbye to my great friend...I love you Brandon. My apologies for the long wait...I hope you all understand. -Shane



(2 water glasses and a pitcher full of water are set up on the side of the pulpit in the chapel. I grab them and fill the 2 glasses up and set them down. Somebody afterward thought it was going to be a very long winded talk!)

One day about a year ago while Brandon was visiting our house we went to sacrament meeting in a building just like this one. Halfway through the meeting, Brandon gets up and leaves only to return, walking back through the chapel full of people, with two big and very full glasses of water. Sacrament meetings are usually pretty reverent and not really a place where someone might cruise in with lunch or drinks and sit down. When I asked him what was up with the water he methodically paused, then looked at the water glasses, and back at me and said, "I thought you guys might be thirsty." This is a very clear example of how Brandon lived his life- always thinking of others.

A few years ago while attending school in Chico I was assigned a book to read. While the overall theme behind the book has little to do with why we are here today, there is a very important concept that I took away from reading it that I have kept with me and which reminds me of Brandon.

The book is about a large gorilla named Ismael who was raised by a very educated man and learned to speak and read English. Ismael became well versed in history and literature. The conversations which Ismael had with his teacher regularly reflected on the knowledge that had been passed down to him through his primate ancestors relating to how man has changed over the years in his relationship with the world. He said that as time had passed on that men had become 'Takers'. 'Takers' and 'Givers' were two classifications which he gave to just about every species. Takers were those that consumed products of the earth with no regard to anything that might or might not be left behind for others. Givers were the ones who were always cognoscente of how their actions affected the lives of others. They always ensure that the needs of others are met and always leave sufficient for others in the future. Brandon, before and after his accident, was an excellent example of a 'Giver'. I am grateful for him, his example, and the opportunity we have to be here together to remember him today.

Brandon and I met in the summer of '97 in a student ward in Chico. We both ended up signing up for the same evening college class and I immediately recognized him when I walked in the first night. I pulled up an empty desk next to him and we started to chat. A spot in our apartment opened up shortly after that and I felt great about asking him to move in with myself and a couple other buddies. We spent dozens of late nights staring at a mesmerizing fish tank and eating lasagna and tacos, which Brandon always loved to cook up. We always joked about eating 'like kings'...the man had some great culinary skills. We shared a love for old Z's which we always ended up racing around at speeds we wont mention for Martha's sake. A month of overlaping unemployment was thoroughly enjoyed by both of us as we got to be great friends.

The majority of the people in my life who I typically befriend are people whom I admire- people who in one way or another have certain recognizable strengths as well as a kind heart. Brandon was that kind of person. Although Brandon's mom might disagree with this, I admired Brandon for his cleanliness, organization, and self motivation. We found many similarities in our backgrounds and strength in each other as we recognized how we had both struggled to overcome childhood lives that might have easily lead us down much different roads. Brandon definitely falls under the category of a person whom I admire. I think that is why we are all here today- to remember and be thankful for the extra time we were blessed to have Brandon with us. My heart is full of gratitude for the extra ten years I have had to have Brandon as a friend, to get to know him better and to learn from him.

The Book of Mormon, which is a record of Christ's visit to the ancient inhabitants of the Americas, holds some writings of many prophets, one was named Alma. He said the following of another man named Moroni : "Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni , behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men." Brandon is similarly a man of such strength and determination. Few knew that his spiritual strength exceeded his great physical strength.

As I pondered what I could share here today many thoughts came to mind. I thought about Brandon's personal strengths and how he has affected my life. What purpose can we each find in why we are here today? Can we each find greater strength within ourselves to be grateful for how blessed we are? To be more thoughtful of others? To be more complimentary? To see the glass as half full? Or to be a better friend? Brandon regularly spoke of 'how good we have it' and 'how great life is'. When having some money stolen, words such as 'money is only pictures of dead people' were said. When thrown out of a taxi while having a seizure and having his wallet stolen he said 'he must have needed it more than me'. How many times did many of us hear about how Brandon wanted to help someone who was homeless when he didnt have much himself? Brandon always seemed to be a 'the glass is half-full' type of person. There is a quote by C.S. Lewis which talks about how there are angelic beings that infinitely exceed our immaginations in their goodness and peace and how every time we interact with someone we move them towards that end- and if not, in an opposite direction. Brandon always tried to find a way to be a Giver and leave people better off than the way he found them.

There is certainly a sense of loss in my heart when thinking of not having my dear friend around for the rest of my life but my faith and knowledge of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the purpose of our lives here on Earth brings me peace and comfort. Alma, in The Book of Mormon, while talking to his young son said "Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life. And then shall it come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow." I am grateful to know that Brandon is in a state of rest and peace at this time.

I am blessed to have had such a great friend, as we have all been. I am grateful for the knowledge about this life which the gospel brings me. I pray that we can all find it within ourselves to be better examples to the people around us, to be better friends, to find meaning in Brandon's life, and to be Givers in any way we can.